Effective Strategies for Administrators to Handle Difficult Feedback

This particular statement was penned in an anonymous team evaluation more than a decade ago, yet it remains vivid in my memory: “I believe she lacks a professional appearance.” While the rest of the feedback from the evaluation was constructive and uplifting, providing valuable insights on where to direct my attention next, that specific critique stood out the most.

As an experienced administrator, I found myself fixating on those unconstructive remarks from the sidelines instead of delving into the constructive feedback that could have elevated my leadership skills. I essentially dwelled on the negativity of the situation, absorbing its impact.

Navigating the process of distinguishing whose opinions to heed and which ones to disregard remains an ongoing challenge for me. Despite this ongoing struggle, I have gained beneficial perspective that aids me in dispelling negative and unproductive thoughts, allowing me to redirect my focus towards strengthening my leadership competencies.

4 Tips for Staying Composed and Learning from Feedback

1. Acknowledge occasions when mistakes occur. There are instances when feedback may not be flattering but is essential for personal development. For instance, unclear communication about an upcoming event or schedule change, unintentional omission of essential information, failing to fulfill commitments made to students, or organizing a professional development session that fails to engage participants.

It is acceptable to admit when situations are not going as planned. By embracing vulnerability and being genuine with both yourself and others, you create an environment where negativity loses its potency. A good starting point is sharing your challenges and apprehensions with trusted peers or mentors—opening up can significantly lighten your emotional burden.

2. Seek guidance and diverse viewpoints. School leaders require a support system they can rely on when facing negativity. Whether it entails fellow colleagues, mentors, or professional connections, having someone to converse with can offer valuable perspectives and encouragement.

Feeling isolated or confined within your own circle? Engaging with other leaders through a professional learning network on social platforms can be beneficial. Some of my most influential support systems are not geographically close to me, emphasizing the importance of seeking the necessary support to navigate leadership challenges. Brené Brown explores the concept of the “Square Squad” in her book Dare to Lead, underscoring the significance of a select group of individuals whose opinions carry weight, as opposed to the cacophony of voices seeking attention. This core support network acts as a valuable checkpoint, prompting you to pause and seek perspective before reacting impulsively.

3. Embrace a problem-solving mindset and focus on growth. How do you move past comments about your attire?

Really, how do you do it?

Your mindset plays a crucial role, and when you shift your attention from dwelling on issues to seeking solutions, you notice a positive impact on your mental well-being and leadership capacity. Encouraging a growth-oriented perspective can help leaders view challenges as opportunities for learning and advancement rather than insurmountable hurdles. In moments of stagnation, contemplate questions like, “What lessons can I derive from this situation?” or “What steps can I take to address this challenge?”

4. Rediscover the joy in everyday occurrences and reaffirm your motivation. Reconnect with the reasons behind your decision to become a school leader. Whether it stems from a deep-rooted passion for education or a desire to effect change in your community, reigniting your sense of purpose and drive can reinvigorate your leadership journey. Keep your vision at the forefront and allow it to guide you through adversities and setbacks.

While it may be effortless to fixate on setbacks, it is equally important to reflect on moments of success. Remember to celebrate minor victories! Set aside a moment each day to find joy in your work and acknowledge the progress your school is making. Each morning, I initiate my day by jotting down three positive occurrences from the previous day and three aspects I look forward to in the day ahead. Whether it involves a student’s breakthrough or a colleague’s innovative concept, these small triumphs can fuel your optimism and counteract negative thoughts.

Certainly, some of our most valuable lessons arise from errors; the challenge lies in extracting the constructive aspects from these experiences and relinquishing the rest. By incorporating these strategies, school leaders can effectively manage negative thoughts and sustain their focus on steering their schools towards success.